If I am honest with myself, I don’t look forward to many holidays/celebrations. No matter how you try to spin events and life, these days are meant to be spent with people who are important too you. Single, these days turn into a time to be away from work and reminded of how alone you really are.
People involve you in their plans. Sometimes you go and act like you are a part of the group. You hold your head high, but in the odd number of chairs, there is always a sense of being there out of charity, not love.
Mother’s Day is one of the worst for me. It is because of the great love and respect I have for my Mother and Grandmothers and how little I have returned to the world.
When all the Mothers are asked to stand, the emptiness is overwhelming. It feels like you don’t belong in the universe, let alone the room.
It has been a day I could hide from; my Mom’s birthday often falls on it. Through the sermons and tributes, there is always the question why wasn’t I given this gift?
I wish I was able to gather all my other single friends together for lunch for the day. I haven’t. Maybe next year.